Why is it that I have such a difficult time finishing things? I get so full of fire-no force on earth could remove me from my current obsession...whatever that might be. Making purses, altered art, painting, writing, starting businesses (I've begun two and neither made it much further than the 1 year mark). Why, why, why do I get SO enthralled and excited about something, imagining myself doing this, succeeding at that, giving an award acceptance speech when my NEW idea or product just catches fire and spreads itself throughout the nation...then...I give up. Or if not, I peter out, lose motivation, set it aside for awhile and sometime never get back to it.
I hate this part of me that is an unfinisher. I feel sometimes that I'm daydreaming my life away. I dream and plan and imagine...but what do I do about any of it? I'm scared to begin something because I never can count on myself to finish it properly. I'm afraid to get held down at a job because then I might actually be responsible for showing up and doing the work day after boring day, trapped in a cell of files and ringing phones and people with annoying requests.
I'm tired of it. I'm sick to death of beginning a thing and not seeing it through. I'm tired of all this imagining perfection and seeing less-than-perfect reality. This has to be a sickness, and I just have to find a way to cure myself.
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3 comments:
My dear, this is Pam...I think you are on the road to uncovering why you do what troubles you...this will be your freedom - so says the wise and sage Pam-Pam...in other words this is my opinion. I enjoyed this blog...very REAL and RAW.
Pam
Don't think of your projects as unfinished, think of yourself as being ultra prepared for the time when you have to make something in a hurry, and hey, you've got one "already prepared" which just needs some finishing off!
Ahhh, a much better way to look at things! Maybe if I put all the unfinished projects into one area of my work room I could hang a sign that says something like you mentioned "Already Prepared". Thanks for the good idea!
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