The Starting and Stopping of Things...

Why is it that I have such a difficult time finishing things? I get so full of fire-no force on earth could remove me from my current obsession...whatever that might be. Making purses, altered art, painting, writing, starting businesses (I've begun two and neither made it much further than the 1 year mark). Why, why, why do I get SO enthralled and excited about something, imagining myself doing this, succeeding at that, giving an award acceptance speech when my NEW idea or product just catches fire and spreads itself throughout the nation...then...I give up. Or if not, I peter out, lose motivation, set it aside for awhile and sometime never get back to it.

I hate this part of me that is an unfinisher. I feel sometimes that I'm daydreaming my life away. I dream and plan and imagine...but what do I do about any of it? I'm scared to begin something because I never can count on myself to finish it properly. I'm afraid to get held down at a job because then I might actually be responsible for showing up and doing the work day after boring day, trapped in a cell of files and ringing phones and people with annoying requests.

I'm tired of it. I'm sick to death of beginning a thing and not seeing it through. I'm tired of all this imagining perfection and seeing less-than-perfect reality. This has to be a sickness, and I just have to find a way to cure myself.

Somerset Submission...

Ok everyone~here it is! This is the piece that I created for Somerset Studio involving a favorite female literary figure. As I posted before, I absolutely love Emily Dickinson and I based this creation on one of my favorite poems of her's called "Funeral in my Brain". It took me awhile to get this together, but I'm pretty happy with the end product. The submission deadline isn't for awhile yet, but I am going to try to get this out in the mail pretty soon (it's making me nervous, looking at it!).


I used a mini-cigar box for the container and cut away parts of sides to make it look more like a hardcover book. I've used found objects (glass, brass ring, etc.) to give it an interesting twist...and I used this antique marooon velvet because (sigh) my macabre side just thought it looked perfect to line a casket. When I finished the first stage it looked way too dreary...I'm usually very colorful in my creations, so it was hard to do all this black and maroon. I added in the yellow after, to give some contrast.

It was so fun putting this together, and it makes it more...I don't know, special/fun/exciting thinking that other people are going to see it and that it might, just maybe possibly, have a chance at being chosen for the magazine. Keep your fingers crossed!

Where Does the Weekend Go?

My~the weekend just flew by and, what do you know, it's Sunday night and I have a tiny sore throat and am secretly a little happy that it's almost time for bed...and Yum! Fresh sheets! But hopefully will be feeling better by tomorrow morning as I absolutely HAVE to go to work. I have no sick time yet and I don't want to take a day without pay. Plus I would feel too embarrassed to call in after only three days!

I had such a lovely weekend, even though I've been feeling more tired than ususal. My Dad said that it's probably just the stress of the new job and getting into my new schedule...I suppose that's it.


I made my sister, Faith, a really cool birthday card but I gave it to her without taking a picture of it first! It was totally cute~I used a color copy of a photo of her around age 10 and then decorated it with a little crown, a pearl necklace and matching earrings....it was cute! I also included this quote, "Your life is a canvas, only you can paint on it."Well, something like that.

The book above is an altered book that I made a long time ago. I'm working on another one now, but felt too lazy to take photos tonight. I spent a lot of time in the sun today and I don't know, something about the sun just saps the energy from my bones. The rest of me as well. I hope that this week will be filled with many laughs, good times, and hot cocoa. Love to you all...

A New Job...

Well, I had quite a busy start to my week! I got a call for an interview at an architectural firm for the position of marketing assistant/front desk assistant. I went for the interview, got the job and started yesterday~it was a whirlwind! This is through a temp agency and I was SO pleased to get something in the design/marketing field, as well as something that is temp to hire. If it works out well and I like it and they like me, then in just over 3 months I could be hired on as staff. This week has been just crazy...the girl who is leaving the job is trying to train me (about 2 years worth of information in 2 days) and I feel so...depleted in the evenings. But I think it will be interesting and challenging, once I actually know what I'm doing and feel slightly competent. I wish she was staying though! It would be fun to work with someone who is so positive and full of energy.

Most days, I must admit, I feel about 50+ and can hardly make it through a workday anymore without a few daydreams about a little nappy helping me through the afternoon. But daydreams are all they are, as I'm now at work during nap time. I miss working at home and getting most of my work done super early, then retiring for a short nap with Peeka and Spazzi and Magoo for an afternoon siesta...but I'm extremely grateful for this new job and will try hard to make a go of it.

I have to say though, that my dreams of becoming a graphic designer are causing me have second thoughts. I see some of the work that the graphic designer, a very chic young woman at this office does, and it doesn't seem as appealing and exciting or creative as I had imagined. Anyway, I'm planning to sign up for Graphic Design I this fall, and hopefully find out more about this field. My ultimate goal would be to work freelance, or possibly in a part-time job and do something else the rest of the time, but it takes a lot of experience and talent to do this.

And now, it's off for some quiet reading and maybe a quick walk with the little Peeka-pooch before I start to get ready for bed...getting up at 5:30 is more of a struggle each day!

Cheers!

New Altered Endeavor...

When I went to visit my sister Celeste, I picked up a hardcover book at the library in the free pile and set to work creating a new altered art book. I haven't done one of these in awhile and I'm really excited to play with all these pages! Lately I've been working with children's board books which are fun, but it's nice to have the pages themselves to play with. I like making some into envelopes and pockets and cut others to put tags on etc. I haven't decided if I want to run one theme throughout the book or differing themes in each section. If I choose one theme, I'm thinking of a different inspirational word for each area. For example: Hope, Love, Peace, Happiness, etc. We'll see how it turns out! I'll keep you updated on my progress...

A Tiny Break from Reality...

Yesterday morning, I packed up the car, kissed the pets goodbye, and headed out to see my oldest sister a few hours away. We had been talking about getting together for an "art day" for a long time, and finally we just picked a date and stuck with it.

What an incredible time I had, away from my (temporary) problems and a break from the reality that is my daily life. Now, in no way am I complaining about this reality; there are so many things that are absolutely and wonderfully perfect in my life~I'm so grateful for them all! But, like anyone else I too have those little bumps in the road; right now being a bit of a low spot, I was extremely happy to leave my problems behind and head out on a cool and rainy morning with no bigger decision to make for the day than the flavor of coffee to choose. I was thankful it was rainy and a little chilly...so much nicer to drive feeling slightly cool, enjoying a warm cup of decaf than sweating hot, sitting in the blazing sun while one arm sunburns and the other is left perpetually as white as baking flour.

I puttered along, thinking of all sorts of career and relational issues, and then, halfway into my drive thought "This is a mini-VACATION, try to get into the mindset!" so I popped in my Shakira CD and blasted all of the problems and "the stupid people" right out of my little blonde head. It was refreshing. And very loud. Very, very loud.

My sister Celeste spoiled me with a delicious lunch, homemade biscotti (which I've been craving for the past 10 days but have been too hot to make), and the adorable gifts above, all tucked into a pretty pink bag. I was nearly in tears with gratitude. It feels so good to be taken care of, doesn't it? After lunch we spent some time re-arranging her home studio where she works as the editor for a magazine and spends some of her free time creating altered art. We made good progress I think. Sometimes all it takes is moving some things around to create some "blank" spaces which makes a room feel completely different and energized. We spent most of today scouring lawnsales for treasures (I bought a beautiful cream colored vintage "Jackie" dress and a funky black vintage skirt...complete with a rhinestone button), and then played with our altered art projects at a cool scrapbooking store where they let us use all sorts of their supplies for FREE! It was so much fun!

And, aren't THESE little suitcases adorable? My sister Aimee gave me these fun little striped cases which have the most beautiful and bright poppies on the fronts~I LOVE vibrant color! These bright stripes are my new favorite. She also gave me a funky new sushi set, as my darling husband and I are becoming quite the sushi connoisseurs. We like to make our own and now we have the tiny sage green platters with even tinier square "sauce dishes" and pretty new chopsticks to make us feel like we really know what we are doing!

A Mug Like No Other...

I can't believe this happened. I just don't want to think that it can be true, that it was ME who did it. It was over so quickly; I was just transferring it from the cool rinse water into the dishdrainer and then, the distinctive clink-hiss of pottery breaking. Aimee and I have spoken of this, but not now, not today.

This may look like just a regular old stoneware mug but it is so much more! There is this strange sort of connection I feel with the two mugs my sister, Aimee, sent me from Korea. She was there as an ESL teacher and both of these mugs made it all those thousands of miles without breaking. I didn't think too much of them when I first saw them (oh, that's nice!) and put them in the cupboard with all the other matchless mugs. But soon I began to understand her secret obsession with these mugs. They fit my hand just right, like the potter had cast my hand and made the mug to sit just so within my palm and fingers. They are thick and heavy (like good chocolate and ice cream) and they keep my coffee, cocoa and tea steamy on cool autum evenings and crisp winter afternoons. The mugs are just the right thickness around the rim too. Ceramic mugs are too thin, they don't offer enough room to blow directly into your drink, pushing the steam up to warm a cold nose. The mugs aren't too thick either, making you feel like you are putting a horse bit into your mouth. They are just perfect.

Now, to be completely honest: Aimee sent this green mug to me and a seperate mug to my-then-finace (now husband). But I coveted his mug. It's cream colored with little hand-painted autum leaves on it and it is just a tad smaller and just a tiny bit lighter. I never actually asked to trade mugs, I just started using his and serving him his Saturday morning coffee in the larger green mug. He would sometimes fight me for his mug, but most of the time was too bleary-eyed to put up much of a fuss (that's the downside of being a night owl, I suppose). Meanwhile, I would be up at 6:00 a.m. Saturday mornings and quickly claim the cream mug for myself, chuckling in my ability to out-do my husband in this one, very small arena. (Ha! You might be a fantastic musician, a well-coordinated athlete and superior at diagnosing small, funny sounds in my car...but who's drinking out of the cream mug this morning, huh?)

But now....there is nothing here. I don't think that this handle can be fixed and I feel so sad that it happened. Stupid cheapo dishgloves! I knew I should have gone with my regular brand but no! I HAD to have these stupid coral colored gloves because I was just so tired of my regular old yellow ones~see where that got me?

Oh dear! I hear my husband stirring on the couch! I have to hide the remains and try to see what can be salvaged tomorrow while he is at work. Do you think there is any chance he wouldn't notice a missing handle?

Where or Where, Can my new Job be?

Ok, I just told my friend Suzanne who hasn't been to my blog yet, that I never talk about work on here. BUT I just have to make this one exception.

I'm currently looking for a new job/career/calling and I find that thinking about it is just there. It's not something I purposefully have to think about, it's just always on the back burner of my inner mind-stove. Sometimes I feel like it's about to boil over (when I let my inner obsessive-compulsive nature take over) and other times it is like a slow simmer, barely bubbling.

The problem is this: I love being creative. I love working part-time at home/alone and part-time with nice/creative/funny people. However, in all my many jobs, I've never seemed to find that mix. Oh, yes, and let's not forget that I also like to be paid enough to buy groceries for my darling, myself and my furry little friends... and maybe have a little treat once a week or so. Is that too much to ask? Oh, and also I would like to travel while I'm still young enough to get around. And I would like a Vespa scooter and stockade fencing for my yard. But really. Is that too much to ask???

There are always certain parts of my jobs that I have hated and other parts I really liked. Well, ok. To be honest some jobs I've just hated for the most part. But really, there have been some great pieces of past jobs. For example: I worked as a case manager for the elderly and I loved the freedom of setting my own schedule, being on the road most of the day and the variety of the work. Plus for the most part, I felt like I was really helping people. I didn't really care for the death/dying/end of life issues and stressed out family members who decided that I would make the absolute perfect whipping boy (or girl, as the case may be). I also had a really hard time dealing with the emergency abuse cases, etc. And so, burned out by case management and other people's problems, I decided after 3 years of CM that, secretarial work wasn't so bad.

Just thinking about all the different jobs I've had makes my head swim. Since I started working at age 15 here is a condensed list:
Babysitter, data entry clerk, flyer folder (hey, I needed gas money!), dishwasher, buffet hostess, salad girl, house cleaner, video store clerk, clothing store clerk, secretary, veterinary assistant, daycare aide, secretary for DUI program (that was fun!), case manager, eligibility specialist, dog groomer (2 days and dogs tried to bite/sit on me!), medical transcriptionist, and office assitant. I think I'm forgetting some... That is 19 jobs in 14 years which averages 1.357 jobs per year! Of course, a lot of these were summer or part-time positions (thank God!). It does make me wonder though....Is my perfect career possibly, just maybe, being on vacation?

Miss Emily Dickinson...

One of my favorite poems that Emily Dickinson wrote was "I felt a Funeral in my Brain". I discovered this poem and E.D. in my high school English class in the 10th grade. I had a friend named Tiff and we were both a little into macabre. Today, I guess we would be called goth, but this was an unknown term at that time.

I memorized this poem back then, but I only remembered 3 verses today. I looked up the poem so that you could read it all:

"I felt a funeral in my brain, and mourners to and fro, kept treading, treading till it seemed that sense was breaking through.

And when they were all seated, a service like a drum, kept beating, beating till I felt my mind were going numb.

And then I heard them lift a box and creak across my soul, with those same boots of lead again, then space began to toll.

As all the Heavens were a bell, and being, but an ear, and I in silence some strange race wrecked solitary here.

And then a plank in reason broke, and I dropped down and down, and hit a world at at every plunge and finished knowing then..."

I love this poem because of the way it ends, and because of the mystery and beauty of it. A lot of people think that thinking or talking or wondering about death is morbid, but I think that it helps us to remember to LIVE and not take things/people/events for granted.

A Perfect Summer Day...

Today is one of those perfect Vermont summer days. It's breezy and cool and the sun is shining so brightly that it feels warm and and liquid all at once. It's absolutely perfect, down to the fresh clean smell of cut grass and a hint of woodsmoke.

I've been feeling a little uncreative lately, though yesterday I did start a little project for a Somerset Studio contest that is coming up this fall. It's on women literary figures and I'm doing a project inspired by Emily Dickinson who is my very favorite poet. I can't tell you too much about it, because I haven't sorted out just what I'm doing yet. I hope it will come out well!

This weekend I have been putting the final cleaning/organizational touches on my front porch, which used to house my little vintage decor shop. It was sad to pack everything up and go through all the charming things I've accumulated to sell, but it also feels like the right decision and ending one thing always allows room for the beginning of the next adventure. I'm anxious to see what that might be!

Fresh Painted Tomato...

Hi all,

Sorry, I can't believe I haven't posted since the 8th~yikes! This month is FLYING by...I have been off work since July 14th and will be going back tomorrow. I'm betting it will be a hard transition, which is probably why I've been feeling a little sad today...

Anyway, here is a picture of a painting I made of a pretty red tomato. One thing I LOVE about painting and drawing is that it makes you really SEE things, things you normally might not even notice. With watercolor painting in particular, you have to be really careful to "leave the white in" while you are painting. "Real" watercolor painters supposedly look down on using the white watercolor paint in any form. It's hard to do this though!

I just posted this painting, along with some other things on my Etsy shop (http://chicchickbiz.etsy.com). I've also been working on some really pretty sparkly earrings that I'll be posting there soon...check it out!

This painting of the tomato made me think of my vegetable garden which is not doing quite so well this year. I think I should have composted again, but put my seeds in so late that I didn't take the time to do it. We are just now getting a few "Yellow Gold" cherry tomatos~they are completely delicious though, so I shouldn't complain. Well, it will just give me more of a chance to visit the local farmer's market and nearly-organic farmstand nearby.

Hope you all have a relaxing Sunday evening and a wonderful start to your week tomorrow.

Feminine? Mes Oui!

I had a fashion "Aha" moment this week. My wardrobe has gotten pretty easy lately (i.e. comfortable and BORING). For my job I don't have to dress up much at all, jeans are allowed and people at work just don't seem to be into fashion. I have taken up this sort of fashion-less attitude and have been grabbing whatever is comfortable and clean in the morning.

But last week when I was looking through some old photos of myself (from about 9 years ago), I noticed how much more stylish I was. I had all these cute dresses and fun little tops and did a lot with accessories. Of course, at the time I was living alone and didn't have much to pay for other than my apartment and basic necessities. Now it seems like I'm always trying to stretch dollars (of my own free will) because I don't want my life to be about STUFF and cleaning/organizing/keeping track of THINGS. Plus I hate to look back and see nothing where there was once money in the bank or in my wallet, it's depressing! On the other hand it doesn't hurt to splurge now and again, does it?

I should mention that "splurge" to me means a $15 dress or a new top for under $10 but hey, it's all relative. So I bought a pretty brown dress last night and wore it today. I LOVE it! I feel so pretty and free in it. I love the feeling of the sun on my knees while I'm driving and the breeze making the skirt blow out just a little walking through the farmer's market. Besides, I find dresses and skirts much more flattering to nearly any female form than shorts.

That lead me to this altered journal/sketch book that I made today. I wanted something FUN and pretty and feminine. I had a lot of fun coloring in the black and white transfer of the vintage lady with colored pencils and then embellishing the rest of the book. Fun!

Special Order Purse...

Last week my dear sister Aimee and I went shopping for fabric to make her a new purse. She described what she wanted and I knew, I just knew the perfect fabric was at Joann's. I've been aching to try out one of the bright colored canvas fabrics, but couldn't make up my mind which would make a best summer purse for me. Luckily, Aimee knew just the one she wanted as soon as she saw the bright stripes.

We picked out this summery, candy striped fabric and some nice sturdy interfacing. I had the pretty bamboo handles from another purse project that went awry. (I'm never sure what to DO with the purses that end up, shall we say, less than perfect so I'm collecting them in a pile in my craft room). I added the lining (crisp white muslin) and some interior pockets to hold her cell phone and compact.

I love making bags. I haven't made any in quite awhile and was happy to get this request. Now I'll have to send her off with a fistful of my business cards, in case she gets inquiries!

A Charmed Life...

Here are some photos of the charms I finished yesterday. Did I mention how fun they are to make? :) My intention is to make them into necklaces and/or charms for a funky bracelet (these examples are too big though). The hard part will be putting them together as I'm not a jeweler, but I'm sure I'll come up with something. If not, I can always use them in my altered art pieces.


PS-Voyer, thanks for the tip on the camera. I had that function but thought I should try some better lighting (kitchen). It seems to have worked!

Paper or Plastic?

I LOVE altered art of any kind: Fabrics and bits of ribbon, buttons, embellishments and more. I love creating little artistic altered purses and wall art (check out my etsy shop for samples). But as much as I love fabric and all things textile, my first love would have to be paper. I absolutely love paper! Walking through the scrapbooking store is like walking through a flower shop~beautiful colors and textures; all that's missing is the fragrance of flowers! I love paper arts because of the immediate results and the way it forgives. If you screw something up in sewing, it can take a long time to undo your mistake and then redo your project. If you make a mistake in a collage, you just glue something on it! No one is the wiser and often times that is when the prettiest things happen.

I was at Joanns (one of my favorite haunts) yesterday with one of my sisters and flipped through a few of the altered art magazines. I had a tough decision to make, "Belle Amour" had a fantastic spread on altered tote bags and a fun article on making "tiles" for jewelry out of shrink plastic (aka "Shrinky Dink" sheets). But "Somerset Studios" had so many great looking projects that I couldn't put it back on the shelf. I read through the article I was interested in on the shrink plastic project, just to get the general idea, then picked up a package of "Shrinky Dink" and some jump rings and got ready to learn the basics from the instructions on the package.

Well, I cannot tell you how much fun I have had with this project this morning! I got up early and savored all the beautiful photos of incredible projects that artists sent in to Somerset, then I went for my walk, had breakfast with my dear hubby and dived in. This is my kind of project! It's so immediate, cheap, quick and so much fun! I absolutely love shrink plastic!

I can post directions on the blog if anyone is interested. Today I worked on some charms and later I will post pictures of the final jewelry project. I wish the photo of the charm I'm posting had come out better...photography is not my strong suite, yet. If you like the project idea, you should get the "Belle Amour" issue though, the creators pieces are beautiful. I'm more of a fly-by-my-pants sort of gal, so I'm much happier working from a general idea than a set of step by step instructions.

So, the next time someone asks me "Paper or Plastic?" I'm really going to have to put some thought into my answer!

New Crafty Art Space...

I was laying in bed last night, thinking about all the topics I want to post about here in my little corner of the country, my sweet little blog. It's so exciting to read new comments and check out the blogs of visitors. I love blogs because they allow you to feel so connected, so in touch with people you otherwise wouldn't know exsisted, and vise-versa. I live in a tiny little town in New England, and believe me, I don't meet a lot of new people in my work or personal life. Of course, this could be because I keep myself so busy in my own little self-contained world that I haven't made a new friend since high school (with the exception of my dear friend, Pam, whom I met at my previous job). I think there might be something wrong with me. I'm perfectly content to be nearly friendless! Of course, I do have three older sisters and we are closer than close, so I suppose I just don't take the intitiative to meet new women friends. Geesh, this isn't coming out very well at all. I am trying to say how much I appreciate and enjoy "meeting" new people here via my blog and others that I visit, and instead I sound like a grumpy hermit!

Well, hopefully (if you are still reading) you will forgive my faux pas and see the underlying message: I like meeting new people! I like friends! I like you! :)

Anyway, lets just get on with it shall we?

So, the picture above is a photo in my new craft/art room. You know, I can't ever just say "ART" room because I don't really think of myself as an artist. Creative? Yes. Dabbler? Yes. Artistically inclined? Perhaps. But ARTIST is so scary and professional sounding. Anyway, we recently moved rooms all around the house: The dining room became my husband's band room (he's an EXCELLENT drummer), the dining room table is awaiting storage departure and is left stranded on the front porch, my craft room was moved up to my husband's previous band room and we now have an empty bedroom where my craft/art room used to be. Whew! It's exhausting to write and believe me, more exhausting to move it all!

I would love to post more pictures of my new room, but it's still in a bit of disarray. Also, I just noticed when I took this picture, that my hubby's old cymbal clock is still on my wall. I wonder if he's been missing it?

Playing with Altered Art...

Today was a day off work for me...I love days off! I was secretly pleased that it was rainy and chilly out~no excuse needed why I couldn't work out in the yard, why I didn't want to spend time lounging on the beach. I have been looking forward to getting my hands sticky and smeared with paint and glue for some time, and today I finally got the chance to play.

The top left photo is the front cover of the new altered board book I'm working on...I made the Mona Lisa figure with a clay transfer technique and added some beads and wire to put her together. The photo on the right is one of the page layouts...the book's theme is following your dreams and taking time to listen to yourself, something that is very near and dear to me.

The Art of Wabi-Sabi...

Wabi-Sabi is the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection, honoring the cycles of life and cherishing the passage of time.

My sister and I were talking about Wabi-Sabi this weekend during our walk to the local farmers market. It was a beautiful, perfect summer day; not too hot, but sunny, a cool breeze drifting around buildings and through tree limbs. Gorgeous. But I spent much of the time worrying and fretting: I forgot my sunscreen, I need to hurry, hurrry~must get back to go give a massage. I don't feel like giving a massage on my day off! On and on the naggy little voice goes until I barely notice the beauty of my surroundings, I'm too busy listening to that stupid little negative voice.

I need more Wabi-Sabi in my own life. I need to take time to fully and completely enjoy moments, to forget about all that is not going right in my life and focus, enjoy and really LIVE moments like our morning at the farmers market.

Today I woke up grumpy. I've been feeling grumpy more days than I'd like to lately. I'm making a pledge today to do less thinking and more enjoying. To breathe more deeply and worry less often and to take time to see beauty in every imperfection, even those things that are imperfect only because they aren't the way I want them to be.

Painting, Painting, Painting...

Good morning everyone! It's before 6:00 and I'm up and ready to face the (rainy) day. My teacher told me this week that in the past 35 days, it's rained 28!

Speaking of my teacher, he again chided me for not painting like I'm painting with watercolors. The truth is, I'm not sure I even like watercolor painting~but I will try this week to really "get messy" and let things run together and see what happens.

The first painting above (the more watercolor looking one) was based on a photo~it's alright. But, the underneath it, the one with the bright flowers (though these really look much brighter and more vibrant in real life), I like! However, my instructor said that I'm controlling the paint too much and suggested I spritz the whole painting with water~AGH!

I know quite a few of you are the creative types...what are your favorite mediums to work with?

First Painting Class...

Finally, after years and years of saying that I really want to take some painting classes and learn "the rules", I did it. I work at a college and my classes are free (this is why I took the boring job there), and I finally singed up and am enrolled in my very first ever painting class: Watercolor for Beginners, and a beginner I am!

Here is the quick synopsis:
Class Number One: YAY! Watercolor paints, paper and all sorts of information on brushes, various techniques, etc.~what fun!
Class Number Two: Paint will not go where I want it. Paint goes everywhere I don't want it. Paper curling and buckling, creating little pools of paint and water everywhere. UGH! Homework:First watercolor painting (see above).
Class Number Three: Felt fairly smug (thought masking of birch trees pretty clever, as well as pretty leaves/branches), and one other student a definite beginner like me, so no worries. Well, didn't this other student pull out at least EIGHT beautiful watercolor paintings! I couldn't believe that she hadn't painted before. I felt a very sick feeling in my tummy and that horrible feeling from grade school that I hadn't done my homework properly. I waited and ooohed and ahhed over everyone else's work somehow hoping that the teacher would forget all about me. But no, he asked if I could show my pieces. I dragged out my tree painting (which I once thought was pretty, now looked hideous to me). He "hhhmmmm'd" and asked what I liked about the piece (Uhm, now that I see everyone else's...not much!). The final verdict of the class is that I'm trying to paint like I'm using acrylics in watercolor. Well, yes. I love acrylics! When you put them somewhere, they STAY! Also, it was determined (kindly) that I have a bit of a control issue. Um, yes. Definitely. My teacher suggested I loosen up, let someone order for me the next time at the creemee stand (gasp! and possibly not get my regular choc/van twist with sprinkles?), and have fun.

Well, easy for him to say. Giving up control, even of a creemee flavor, is a very tough homework assignment.

I'll keep you posted...